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Monday, July 06, 2009

Well, here I am

I am here. typing. in a robe, on a monday at 10:38am. Rained out of painting. Start at playtime bingo tonight. Currently not together with samantha. I cant be happy either way I guess. I feel really bad for breaking her heart time and time again. welcome to life. sometimes you hate yourself.

aaaaaanyways. My van has a bunch of scrap 2x4's and bits of plywood full of nails. One of these days im going to de-nail and either store the wood or build something.


I would go toke, but I am so fucking emo. heh not really i guess. but I get into funx.funkzfunks

maybe I will go toke. oh im 20 now. fucking big deal. I know im not really a fan of bdays and whatevs but I had a shitty bday by my standards. woke up, fought with sam all morning. took her to work, then scrolled thru the contact list on my phone looking for someone to hang with... twice. I eventually texted back an unknown sender who turned out to be taryn. we chilled for a bit. w/f/e.

Jeff Saunders, you are a sheisty bastard. Fuck you pal.
Blaze Lupton. I lost some faith in humanity because of you. fuck you too, pal.

I am full of hate, rage and anger.
But I havent been in a scrap since elementary school. I dont think I would enjoy losing a fight.

fuck my life

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

hey. i feel so. sometimes no. whats the po.int? to point. or not. make it up as you go

Make it up as you go.
Get me out of here.
I sure feel things.
I dont want to feel down on myself anymore.
Dont worry, be happy.   Do your best.



...

do your best.
that is something that I dont really do anymore.
I need to revitalize, revivalize and realize,. its all in you
its all in your head
its all on your shoulders.
You are a microcosm within a macrocosm.
this is a fractal situation. 
You crave that  feeling. that feeling of lifeforce, flowing through you. its eddying energies within your belly, pseudoshivers of this feeling permeating your essence. 


fuck life