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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

It has been a while...  I have lived: at my parents house, on st george, kinda at departure bay, at my parents again (facepalm), on spencer, less than a month on howard, kinda at fourth st, on joanna, and now I live on rosstown.  I am happy to live on Rosstown road. I had before in my residence searching thought to myself, 'I want to live on rosstown, price is right, quality is right, location is good...
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Now I do.
I live here in an upstairs 3-bed suite, with Joshua and Willow.
The kitchen is cool, it has a pass-through counter, an in-wall oven, and a lot'o'cupboards.

My room starts to smell if you leave the door and window closed.  I hate it.  
I have baking-soda-vacuumed the carpets, febreezed the shit out of it, smudged the room with sage, wiped down the wallpaper with fabric softener sheets, and still, if it isn't constantly aired out, it smells!
Yarg!

I still cannot do handstand pushups or planches.
I can do about 10 pistol squats on each leg, although my balance and my form get very messy when I am close to maxing out.
I can curl 35 pounds now like I could the 20 pounders when I was younger.    I want bigger weights, but I do not want to shell out a buck a pound for fixed weight sizes.   I have not found a cheap multi-weight set in the range I am looking for, either.
My shoulder clicks when I do pushups now.  It started doing that last summer, when Joshua and I did shit-tonnes of pushups, every day.
Every time I try to tan my waist or thighs they get ridiculous sun-rashes that itch like hell.
I wish I had become a nudist when I was younger so my skin would not have grown so accustomed to not having direct sun exposure.
Possible goal for this life-time: bronze buns. heh.

So,  Alexis dumped me.  We went on for about 2 years.  She wants to re-center herself. (is it really always spelled centre, or is this spellcheck just biased?) 
I figure she just wants to re-center herself on a new dick, but that is just a little bit of jealousy and undue resentment on my part. It has gotta go somewhere, why not in this blog no-one reads. Better here, than stuck in my head; rattling around when I try to go to bed.

This happened about a month ago.
I had been fairly sexually neglected for about a month previous to that.
I was just bursting with hormones and horniness.
I had to go get laid.

I did.

A friend of mine helped me out.
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Thanks.
I needed that.
/

Anyways, now that my head is clearer, I realize that I have still really gotten - fucking gotten is a word!? - nowhere in life. 
Yet.

... I need to figure my shit out.
I don't need companionship, but I do need a fucking career.
Companionship is a helpful hindrance.
Oh well.

I am currently sitting at the table, in the (carpeted dining area) living room/doorway to deck. I am eating a honey and peanut butter on toast sandwich, and drinking orange pekoe tea. I spend a lot of time at this table; doodling, reading, eating, chillaxing.  
I am currently using Willows notebook to write this.
Thank-you Willow!

I need want to get a computer of my own; to start collecting pictures, music, videos, programs, and the like. I would also like to get an Ipod, or some kind of music device, so I can have music with me, wherever I go.

I lack the motivation, determination, and self-control necessary to accomplish anything.
I have a shitty job, and I am getting nowhere.  While I may have twenty or thirty hours in a week allotted to work, I still consider myself to be "idle hands"; maybe idle mind.  I don't know.  But I do suspect it lends towards causing trouble.  I am bored, disenfranchised, and able-bodied.
Give me something to break.

I have been reading lately.  I do not thoroughly enjoy my reads, as I did, reading when I was younger.
I seem to have misplaced some of my books.  A large portion of my David Eddings collection is missing, including 'The Redemption Of Althalus', which is the book I would like to read. That is how I noticed they were missing.

I go and pour myself my fifth cup of tea, maybe the sixth, over-all for today.
I have started finding ants in the kitchen. Only ever one at a time, though.  I just took the last one outside.  It is time to clean the floors again.  I hope someone will help me this time, because I don't want to set a standard of cleaning up after other people in situations I do not want to.  I'll do your dishes, sure, but you better leave them fucking rinsed and stacked. If you clusterfuck the sink, and leave it for me to deal with if I want to use it, I may just revert to messy house mode, not give a fuck, and just pile on top of it and start cleaning nothing. hmmm, that ranted a little, didn't it.  
I guess I was trying to say, don't leave things fucked and messy, just so I have to clean it out of desperation to stop the quality of life in the house from dropping. clean the floor when you make a mess. etc. 
Maintenance.

I hate everything.
Maybe.


I should end this post.
I still have not quit smoking,
I still have a shitty job,
I still have little hope.

EOP.
- foo