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Monday, April 24, 2006

Faithlight

Like a ten watt bulb my faith is shining; at least I can stumble my way throught the half dark.
I just posted UPDOWNROUNDROUND now, it was living as a draft with bits and pieces added on here and there... I've been struggling for a while.

anywho,m my B'day on the 30'th... haha try and find me on that day, Unless you;re part of the Esperanza crew, you wont be finding me :P

Good night Im tired, yo.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Up and Down, Round and Round

Up and Down, Round and Round
Am I lost? Am I found?

I dont know where I've been. I dont know what I've found.
I cannot realize; His glory crown.

Up and Down, Round and Round
Was I lost? Am I now found?

I dont know where I am. Have I hit bottom?
On this roller-coaster called my faith?

Up and Down, Round and Round
God won't you help me to get off the ground?

I have my faith, I have me doubt
I want to follow -- you. I want to shout.

Down and Down, and Down I go.
I cannot do this on my own.
One day I'll realize; fool that I've been.
But for right now, I'll shout and howl
Inside. I know I'm messed up.
Is this a test? Because if it is then I am failing.

Failing and faling; stumbling in the DARK

...Lights out. Wheres your faith?.
If it shone like a light you would be striding forwards.
This ain't condemnation. It's a flippin conviction.
A call back to duty. The life that you found.
Not a life that's perfect. Not by any means. No.
A life that was happy, joyous and fruitful.
Not always gonna be that way;
But it averages out to be totally amazing.
If you should choose to accept it.
Come on young man, don your armour -- or at least grab your shield.
Extinguish those flaming darts. I know you're tired of getting hit when you're down.
Close your eyes and take a step. When you get scared just call my name.
Your eyes deceive you. You're walking in circles.
This is supposed to be a faithwalk. Not a cakewalk.

I know, I know; and I want to be with you.
I beg, and pray, saying 'show me your way'
When you answer me -- hand layed on my shoulder
words spoken making me feel bolder
I listen for a second then lose sight in a moment
I don't know what I'm looking for... a pillar of fire -- ground shaking to your voice
with a simple command saying,
'Boy, you were wrong, the devil has been tricking you;
all this time you been feelin' like the bottom of a shoe?
no, boy, thats just a quick fix, simple mistake, open the panel and flick a switch
Problem. I'm here all along (I dont doubt that this is true)
Just turn around, and know your mine,
have a snot'n'bawl session to make up for time,
and I'll bless on you, like I'm supposed to -- ?
And make you feel the way you feel that lets you act off your heels'
Well I know I'm wrong more completely than partially
But not completely partially and not even partially completely

Well good for you, at least you know I'm God. On my terms; not yours.
If you cant figure out yet that I AM a good God
And I AM an ALL-POWERFUL God
and I KNOW your plight and I know when you cant do it;
but truly I say, I KNOW whn you can, too.
Suck it up, princess; faith over cake
I know you've got an inkling of what you need to do
The quiet voice is turned to max, but I dont see why I need to raise it.
If you listen, you will hear; if you look you will see
seek and you shall find
draw close and I will do the same to thee

Oh man Im teeter tottering, I know I cannot do this -- on my own
God I need to lean on you, but I have to ask you for your help
myself -- I cant ask you to help me ask you the help me!
so God, I'm gonna do it. I know that im gonna screw it,
so please I beg, set a little extra stockpile of grace
throw it in my face when I turn to you in faith
Lord forgive me, the fool that I've been,
I need your help, here I am asking
I'll try, please remind me that -
YOU ARE GOD
And I want to thank you
for the friends in life
that we all love you
hold each other
accountable
I love you
In Jesus
Name,
Amen

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Cheese in the desert, my friend

Welldy well well. Colin is tired, and he's gatta write an essay tomorrow morning. So I'll be brief. I was disqualified for the military reserves due to honesty on a drug sheet, and I cant apply until Oct 2008, if I should choose to do so. I am somewhat relieved actually. I now have free time over the summer, and I am currently applying for CIT at camp Qwanoes. I hope im not too late. Uhh I have a really poor foundation in my christianity right now, so I am pretty much starting again from ground zero. Moving ahead SloooooOoOooooOoowly, but FIRMLY. Caitlyn Spence [like (one of) my best friend(s)] is going to be teaching/mentoring me, as well as Rob/Heather, and everyone else. But CaitlynSpence and I are starting up tomorrow and are going to pick up a reading plan for the Holy Holy Bible as well. I got a new 'Extreme Teen' NKJV Bible today. w00t. Soo yeah. Colin out! (thx to caitlynspence for helping me unsderstand essays)